JC’s Banging Birthday Week, Day VI: JC Gets the Worst Hangovers, but R. Kelly Eases the Pain

Yesterday, I let you in on how much fun JC was on a night out; or, more accurately, how much fun he wasn’t. However, dealing with all that drama was nothing compared to trying to get him moving the morning after a big piss up. JC gets the worst hangovers: This according to JC, of course. Though I must admit, he never did look very good when we would swing by to pick him up for brunch or whatever.

 

(Hans Holbein the Younger, The Body of the Dead Christ in the Tomb, 1521; oil and tempera on panel; Basel, Kunstmuseum. An interesting aside: After seeing this painting, Dostoevsky said that it was enough to make a person lose one's faith. More on JC's hangovers after the jump.)

We would always tell him, “Dude, just get up, come out: Some breakfast and a couple mimosas will take the edge right off.” But he never listened; you couldn’t tell him anything when he was in that state. Plus, he always had a few hangers-on that indulged his little pity parties.

 

(Édouard Manet, Dead Christ with Angels, 1864; oil on canvas; New York, Metropolitan Museum of Art.)

And that was the worst part; that they were pity parties. You see he wouldn’t just be moaning that his head ached, or that his stomach was upset because he ate too much pizza the night before, or that he felt awful, like most people do after a big lash. No: It always had to turn into an existential crisis. He would just lie there, watching this music video – always this one – repeatedly, mumbling the lyrics to himself.

“And if I make it out this thug life I’ll see you again someday.”

He really identified with the part when Kells talks to the cloud. 

Once, after JC and I had a few pints, we were just sitting around, chilling and vibing to this song; all of a sudden he turns to me and goes, "Dude, I just feel what Kells is saying so hard. You know, one of my parents is a cloud too, or something like that, so I kinda know where he's coming from more than anyone." I didn't know what to say, I was just like, "Yeah man. For sure." 

The song gets a little churchy toward the end as well, which JC is into, of course. But, to be fair, JC just loved R. Kelly in general and really felt this song in particular, which is totally understandable: Who doesn’t? The answer is no one: Its appeal is universal.

…

…

Oh, sorry. I was just watching another one of Kells’ videos. 

God, the drama is incredible. They’re like mini-movies.

Absolutely captivating.

Where was I? Um... I can’t remember. Oh well. This wasn’t going anywhere too special anyway. I apologize if today’s entry was a bit rubbish, but I’m pretty hung over. 

Check back tomorrow for the dénouement of our weeklong celebration of the birthday of JC.

(Published originally on December 24th, 2011.)